My Fake Family

I just read this post about Fake Families over at Jen Hatmaker's blog today and wow...it really hit home.  Maybe some of you don't have this issue.  You might live in the world of reality and not worry about what others think.  But for this girl (and I suspect many of us) we live in the real world, but torment ourselves with Fake Families in our heads. 

So what does my fake family look like?  In my fake family, I'm up before dawn to read my 15 Bible chapters and pray for an hour.   I spend my day providing soul- and spirit-nourishing activities for my toddler, preparing organic, locally sourced meals and the TV and computer are rarely on.  My pantry contains only whole, all-natural foods and there's never a harsh word spoken.  Basically, we float through life with smiles on our faces and have it all together.

But that's not reality.  In the real world, Miss A expects that anytime the car window opens, she gets a French fry and if someone sits down to a computer, she asks for YouTube videos.  The floors only get mopped every month or so and the laundry piles up in the bedroom floor.  Sesame Street hums in the background while I try to clean up yesterday's dinner dishes and I sometimes find Miss A jumping on her bed or emptying the wipes container all over her room.  More often than not, craft projects fail, I spill paint on the carpet and burn at least one part of dinner.  And my pantry is filled with Cheerios, white sugar (got to have my sweet tea!) and bags of chocolate chips.

I don't say this so you can feel sorry for me. And I don't say it so that you can feel smug that your fake family is, indeed, your real family (because I seriously doubt that it is!)  I say it because in motherhood (and perhaps all walks of life?) we face an uphill battle.  When I start thinking that other people's fake families are real, I'm trudging uphill through waist-deep mud.  That belief is based on lies.  A lie that I'm not good enough, that I don't measure up.  A lie that other people have it all together.  A lie that if XYZ were in place, my life would be perfect and then I could be happy. 

So here's my challenge, more so to myself that to anyone else.  To live a real, authentic life.  To stop feeling the need to censor my blog, my Facebook updates, my photos, my emails to only the highlights and the small glimpses of what I deem perfection or snapshots of the Fake Family.  To be true to who we really are, without guilt or shame for the life we lead.  Are there places to improve?  Absolutely.  But if I refuse to live fully in this moment and experience the fullness of His grace, mercy and joy right here, right now, then I'm missing out on my real life. 

We've all done it, whispered it to ourselves in the dark:  "I"ll be happy when..."  Here's the challenge.  No More.  I don't want to wait for the Fake Family to manifest and end up missing all these moments of joy in between, all the moments of laughter and smiles and songs sung off-key.  All the dinners shared on the living room floor or in the car, all the movie nights and imperfect holidays.  That's my real life.  And I don't want to miss a second of it waiting for Someday.