A few years ago, the concept of "One Word" swept through the blogworld. Bloggers all over were posting about their "one word" they'd chosen for the year. The one word that would guide them, inspire them, give intentionality to their actions. You can read more about the idea of one word here. And here. And here.
This year, I'm getting on board, too. I thought about a few different words (inspire, dream, simplify and some others), but in the end, the word I chose is exactly what I need to focus on in 2011. My one word is WHOLE. Some events of my life from the past few years have left me a little broken. I really thought I'd dealt with the issues, had come to terms with all the hurt, the confusion, the questions. Until yesterday when Papa showed up, all up in my business. Somehow He always knows the secrets I haven't told anyone else. All my standing in the shadows, peering at my shoes, avoiding eye contact wasn't enough to hide from Him. Remember, He is everywhere, in everything.
And I don't just mean wholeness = healing from past hurt. I also mean living a holistic life. I don't want to segment my life anymore. I'm tired of having the mindset that this part of me is mine, while I share this part with you; that one day I set aside for worship, but the other six I hold back for myself; that this part of my life over here, well it's okay for it to be out of control because it doesn't affect the other areas (yes, it does!) I want my life to be WHOLE, not segmented. COMPLETE, not shattered. REPLETE not hungry and thirsty.
This year I'm not looking for a band-aid or a quick fix. I'm looking for completion. Wholeness. Newness. It's going to be a process, for sure. I can already see there are some steps I'm going to have to walk out, a few rooms of my heart I've shut the door on and been unwilling to reopen. There are some things I've been holding onto with a white-knuckle grip, thinking I can take care of it on my own. But I hope that when I come to December 31, I'll be able to look back with a smile and know that I'm more whole than when I started.