The truth is, I've been completely overwhelmed the past few weeks. With school, comes a 2-hour commute to campus, several chapters to read each week, papers to write and projects to complete. Miss A has been dealing with an ear infection (compounded by a few other issues), so she's been particularly clingy and just needing to sit in Momma's lap every waking moment. Then there's the laundry, the meal planning and grocery shopping, the housecleaning, the...you get the idea. It's been a wild ride, one that doesn't seem to be slowing down for the foreseeable future.
Talking to Papa, I said, "I just can't do this! I'm not strong enough." His response wasn't one I was expecting. I heard Him say, "You're right; you can't." Huh? In light of what modern Christianity touts, isn't He supposed to say something like, "Of course you can. I have an awesome plan for your life!" But no, I heard Him say, "Nope...you can't do it" (my words, not His). But immediately, I felt Holy Spirit lead me to a passage I've read many times, but maybe never grasped until now:
He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
There is a profound truth that flies in the face of our winner-takes-all society and it is this: in the kingdom, to be weak is to be strong. I must stay connected to the vine. It's the only way I can hope to complete the work He has for me on the earth, to make much of His glory. Embracing my human inadequacy in order to grasp His ability, His strength in me is the only way to honor Him. It's not false pride or making much of my weakness; it's accepting that apart from Him, I can do nothing.
This week as I drive back and forth from class, put another load of laundry in the washer, pick up Miss A's toys and wash baby bottles, I'll try to focus on that truth, on staying connected to Papa. It's the only way I'll not only survive, but thrive.